Cooking is more than food, isn’t it?

I Didn’t Always Like Cooking. Then It Became My Therapy 

I don’t know why, but while working in the kitchen today, I was reminded of my childhood days—back then, going into the kitchen to eat felt easy, but if Mother asked me to help, I would immediately burst into tears.

As much as I loved the piping-hot parathas Mom made, I equally disliked it when she asked for help and said that girls should learn to cook from a young age.

This question often crossed my mind, and I would even ask Mother, “Why don’t you talk to my older brothers about this the way you do with me?”

In response, my mother would offer the same excuses—perhaps the very ones her own mother had given her—that girls needed to learn to cook to manage the household, that boys handled the outside world, and that girls could not compete with boys.

And there are days when cooking comforts me.

It’s not about hunger or responsibility for making food for the family; it’s me-time in the kitchen now, and my audience is the kitchen walls and utility items.

Why has the task of cooking been assigned solely to girls for centuries? Isn’t this misogyny?

I still don’t understand when and why society came to assign cooking and related tasks to women.

Why was a useful subject like Home Science considered suitable only for girls?

Why was a kitchen set considered the very first toy for young girls?

It is so strange, isn’t it? 

Society applies different standards to boys compared to girls; the burden of suffering and the weight of responsibilities fall on girls, while boys are raised solely to earn and bring money home. 

It took girls centuries to make society understand that they are equally capable.

Reflecting on my childhood memories of learning to cook with my mother, I remember that whenever she asked for help in the kitchen, I would often become quite stubborn. 

It’s amusing to think back on it now, especially since I used to believe that in the future, I wouldn’t have to cook for anyone at all.

I used to believe that everyone eats, and since I was the youngest and ate very little, it made sense for my brothers to learn to cook first.

I had to study too. In fact, I was the more disciplined student and consistently earned good grades. 

So whenever my mother used my brothers’ studies as an excuse, I became even angrier and refused to go into the kitchen at all.

Cooking is an essential skill.

It’s hard to know when humanity first learned to cook. 

Today, it’s almost unimaginable to eat raw vegetables, wild roots, and tubers.

Everyone experiences hunger, but few can tolerate raw foods anymore. 

Cooking can improve digestibility, enhance flavour, and make many foods safer to consume when appropriate. 

Cooking is not just a means to satisfy our hunger; it is a fundamental skill that plays a crucial role in our daily lives. 

Cooking is both a science and an art, as it involves understanding ingredients, flavors, and various cooking techniques. 

Unfortunately, this essential skill has often been undervalued and, historically, was confined to women within society.

This designation not only diminishes cooking as an essential life skill but also perpetuates traditional gender roles that limit the appreciation of culinary arts. 

We must recognize the significance of cooking and acknowledge its creative aspects and the joy it brings, regardless of who is in the kitchen.

From edibles to eatables 

Back to my rendezvous with the kitchen, I learnt to cook by myself.

However, because of taunts from my near and dear ones, I still don’t love cooking, even though I can say that I am a pretty good cook.

I use simple methods and don’t add too many spices to my food.

The words of my mother and, later, my mother-in-law did turn me into a good cook, but I can never give them the credit for it.

I learned to cook primarily through my own experiences—making mistakes and learning from them. 

Nowadays, I encourage others to learn to cook, and I stress that this is important for everyone, not just for girls.

Today, as the mother of a ‘Gen Z’ girl myself, I felt I should share what is in my heart with my readers.

When Cooking Stopped Being a Responsibility

I must confess something—I didn’t always like cooking.

When I first started cooking, it felt more like a responsibility than something I wanted to do. 

Since no one really taught me how to cook properly, it became an obligation for me rather than something enjoyable.

As I learned to cook, I learned from my mistakes and began to enjoy kitchen tasks.

And once I started liking it, there was no looking back.

The kitchen slowly became more than just a place where meals were prepared. 

It became my little space of peace. 

I noticed that I felt calmer when I was cooking. 

The simple acts of chopping vegetables, stirring a curry, kneading dough, or patiently waiting for something to cook had a strangely soothing effect.

And then I discovered another unexpected benefit.

Cooking for Mental Health…

When we do a task willingly and with enthusiasm, it naturally generates interest. 

Conversely, when we do the same task out of compulsion or merely as a duty, our interest in it naturally diminishes.

This principle is true in every area of life, especially in cooking, where passion truly enhances the experience.

This is entirely my own opinion, based on my cooking experience. 

I love homemade food and do not like junk food at all. 

I visit restaurants only occasionally.

No, I’m not bragging. 

When I’m happy, I cook up some comforting dishes in the kitchen. 

When I’m angry, I try to vent my frustration on the dough. 

When I’m playing the ‘drama queen,’ I whip up a totally confusing dish. 

And when I’m being pampered, I don’t even look towards the kitchen. 

This is my story with the kitchen, and I would love to say that the kitchen is more than just a place to cook.

My kitchen and its simple atmosphere handle my mood swings even better than my loved ones do.

Cooking & Solace: 

When I’m angry, irritated, or frustrated, I sometimes find myself heading towards the kitchen. Instead of letting those negative emotions keep building inside me, I start doing something with my hands.

Chop.

Stir.

Mix.

Knead.

Cook.

Slowly, the intensity of the emotion begins to settle.

Of course, cooking doesn’t magically solve the problem that made me angry or frustrated. 

But it gives my mind a chance to focus on something else. 

It gives me time to pause before reacting. 

By the time the food is ready, I often feel calmer—and able to assess the situation more clearly.

Perhaps that is why I now believe that cooking can be therapeutic and bring a great sense of peace.

Cooking well brings our attention back to the present moment. 

It engages our hands, our senses, and our full focus. 

And sometimes, that is exactly what a restless mind needs.

A bit of a distraction. 

A touch of creativity. 

A little patience. 

And, in the end, something that is good for our health.

Conclusion: A Pinch of Salt

Cooking isn’t rocket science.

Learn to cook as soon as you can—not because someone told you that you must, not because you are a girl or a boy, and certainly not because society has assigned this responsibility to you.

Learn it for yourself.

Learn it because cooking is an essential life skill. Learn it because it can help you become more independent. Learn it because preparing your own food can save money and help you make more conscious choices about what you eat.

And perhaps, like me, you may discover something unexpected along the way.

You may discover that the kitchen can sometimes become your little corner of peace.

A place where you can pause.

A place where your hands stay busy while your mind settles down.

A place where anger can slowly dissolve into the rhythm of chopping, stirring and kneading.

A place where creativity can find its way into an ordinary meal.

Just as a pinch of salt can rescue a dish, perhaps a little patience, a little creativity and a willingness to let go of gender stereotypes can change the way we look at cooking.

Cooking doesn’t belong to women.
Cooking doesn’t belong to men.
Cooking belongs to everyone who eats.

And if, along the way, it also brings us a little peace, then perhaps the kitchen is giving us much more than a meal.

**A Note on Mental Health**

My experience of finding solace and peace through cooking is entirely personal. While cooking can be a soothing and therapeutic activity for many, it is not a substitute for professional mental health care. If you are experiencing persistent emotional distress or struggling with a mental health issue, please consider seeking help from a qualified mental health professional.

Cooking is more than food, isn’t it?

I didn’t always like cooking. Then, somewhere along the way, it became something much more than a responsibility. It became my little space of peace—a place where I could slow down, focus, create, and sometimes even cool my anger and frustration.

I Didn’t Always Like Cooking. Then It Became My Therapy

I don’t know why, but while working in the kitchen today, I was reminded of my childhood days—back then, going into the kitchen to eat felt easy, but if Mother asked me to help, I would immediately burst into tears.

As much as I loved the piping-hot parathas Mom made, I equally disliked it when she asked for help and said that girls should learn to cook from a young age.

This question often crossed my mind, and I would even ask Mother, “Why don’t you talk to my older brothers about this the way you do with me?”

In response, my mother would offer the same excuses—perhaps the very ones her own mother had given her—that girls needed to learn to cook to manage the household, that boys handled the outside world, and that girls could not compete with boys.

And there are days when cooking comforts me. It’s not about hunger or responsibility for making food for the family; it’s me-time in the kitchen now, and my audience is the kitchen walls and utility items.

Why Has the Task of Cooking Been Assigned Solely to Girls for Centuries?

Isn’t this misogyny?

I still don’t understand when and why society came to assign cooking and related tasks to women.

Why was a useful subject like Home Science considered suitable only for girls? Why was a kitchen set considered the very first toy for young girls?

It is so strange, isn’t it?

Society applies different standards to boys compared to girls; the burden of suffering and the weight of responsibilities fall on girls, while boys are raised solely to earn and bring money home. It took girls centuries to make society understand that they are equally capable.

Reflecting on my childhood memories of learning to cook with my mother, I remember that whenever she asked for help in the kitchen, I would often become quite stubborn.

It’s amusing to think back on it now, especially since I used to believe that in the future, I wouldn’t have to cook for anyone at all.

I used to believe that everyone eats, and since I was the youngest and ate very little, it made sense for my brothers to learn to cook first.

I had to study too. In fact, I was the more disciplined student and consistently earned good grades. So whenever my mother used my brothers’ studies as an excuse, I became even angrier and refused to go into the kitchen at all.

Cooking Is an Essential Skill

It’s hard to know when humanity first learned to cook.

Today, it’s almost unimaginable to eat only uncooked vegetables, roots, tubers, and other foods that are commonly prepared through cooking.

Cooking is not just a means to satisfy our hunger; it is a fundamental skill that plays a crucial role in our daily lives.

Cooking is both a science and an art, as it involves understanding ingredients, flavours, and various cooking techniques.

Unfortunately, this essential skill has often been undervalued and, historically, was confined to women within society.

This designation not only diminishes cooking as an essential life skill but also perpetuates traditional gender roles that limit the appreciation of culinary arts.

We must recognize the significance of cooking and acknowledge its creative aspects and the joy it brings, regardless of who is in the kitchen.

From Edibles to Eatables

Back to my rendezvous with the kitchen, I learnt to cook by myself.

However, because of taunts from my near and dear ones, I still don’t love cooking, even though I can say that I am a pretty good cook.

I use simple methods and don’t add too many spices to my food.

The words of my mother and, later, my mother-in-law did turn me into a good cook, but I can never give them the credit for it.

I learned to cook primarily through my own experiences—making mistakes and learning from them.

Nowadays, I encourage others to learn to cook, and I stress that this is important for everyone, not just for girls.

Today, as the mother of a ‘Gen Z’ girl myself, I felt I should share what is in my heart with my readers.

When Cooking Stopped Being a Responsibility

I must confess something—I didn’t always like cooking.

When I first started cooking, it felt more like a responsibility than something I wanted to do.

Since no one really taught me how to cook properly, it became an obligation for me rather than something enjoyable.

As I learned to cook, I learned from my mistakes and began to enjoy kitchen tasks.

And once I started liking it, there was no looking back.

The kitchen slowly became more than just a place where meals were prepared. It became my little space of peace.

I noticed that I felt calmer when I was cooking. The simple acts of chopping vegetables, stirring a curry, kneading dough, or patiently waiting for something to cook had a strangely soothing effect.

“Sometimes, the kitchen becomes more than a place where I cook. It becomes the place where I calm myself down.”

Cooking for Mental Health: How the Kitchen Became My Therapy

When we do a task willingly and with enthusiasm, it naturally generates interest.

Conversely, when we do the same task out of compulsion or merely as a duty, our interest in it naturally diminishes.

This principle is true in every area of life, especially in cooking, where passion truly enhances the experience.

This is entirely my own opinion, based on my cooking experience.

I love homemade food and do not like junk food at all. I visit restaurants only occasionally.

No, I’m not bragging.

When I’m happy, I cook up some comforting dishes in the kitchen. When I’m angry, I try to vent my frustration on the dough. When I’m playing the ‘drama queen,’ I whip up a totally confusing dish. And when I’m being pampered, I don’t even look towards the kitchen.

This is my story with the kitchen, and I would love to say that the kitchen is more than just a place to cook.

My kitchen and its simple atmosphere handle my mood swings even better than my loved ones do.

Cooking & Solace

When I’m angry, irritated, or frustrated, I sometimes find myself heading towards the kitchen.

Instead of letting those negative emotions keep building inside me, I start doing something with my hands.

Chop. Stir. Mix. Knead. Cook.

Slowly, the intensity of the emotion begins to settle.

Of course, cooking doesn’t magically solve the problem that made me angry or frustrated.

But it gives my mind a chance to focus on something else. It gives me time to pause before reacting.

By the time the food is ready, I often feel calmer—and able to assess the situation more clearly.

Perhaps that is why I now believe that cooking can be therapeutic and bring a great sense of peace.

Cooking well brings our attention back to the present moment. It engages our hands, our senses, and our full focus.

And sometimes, that is exactly what a restless mind needs.

A bit of distraction. A touch of creativity. A little patience. And, in the end, something nourishing.

Conclusion: A Pinch of Salt

Cooking isn’t rocket science.

Learn to cook as soon as you can—not because someone told you that you must, not because you are a girl or a boy, and certainly not because society has assigned this responsibility to you.

Learn it for yourself.

Learn it because cooking is an essential life skill. Learn it because preparing your own food can help you become more independent. Learn it because cooking at home can help you save money and make more conscious choices about what you eat.

And perhaps, like me, you may discover something unexpected along the way.

You may discover that the kitchen can sometimes become your little corner of peace.

A place where you can pause.

A place where your hands stay busy while your mind settles down.

A place where anger can slowly dissolve into the rhythm of chopping, stirring, and kneading.

A place where creativity can find its way into an ordinary meal.

Just as a pinch of salt can rescue a dish, perhaps a little patience, a little creativity, and a willingness to let go of gender stereotypes can change the way we look at cooking.

Cooking doesn’t belong to women.
Cooking doesn’t belong to men.
Cooking belongs to everyone who eats.

And if, along the way, it also brings us a little peace, then perhaps the kitchen is giving us much more than a meal.

A Note on Mental Health

My experience of finding comfort and calm in cooking is entirely personal. Cooking can be a soothing and therapeutic activity for many people, but it is not a substitute for professional mental-health care. If you are experiencing persistent emotional distress or struggling with a mental-health condition, please consider seeking support from a qualified mental-health professional.