An open letter from a daughter to her mother

Dear Mom, 

I am writing an open letter to express my feelings as your daughter. 

From ‘like a mother, like a daughter,’ to ‘different from a mother, but still your daughter.’ 

Please try to understand my perspective without judgment.

I am just trying my best to write this with a keen eye on our ‘mother-daughter’ relationship, sometimes a mentorship, and sometimes an ‘I don’t care’ kind of rapport.

Yet, I’m here with my version of our bonding that is covalent, but with an electrifying effect like an iconic bonding.

It might be too late to express my feelings through this open letter, but I can’t help but write it.

With so many things at stake to tell via an open letter, I am stretched thin between our bonding and my pen-notebook.

Oh yeah, Mummy, I am still struggling to begin with my kindest words for our cordless chords attached to you.

So I am putting a sincere apology in advance.

Please accept it before going through this letter.

A suspenseful childhood-

So, why did I have to compromise my position in my family because of my brothers?

Just because they were your male kids and being an Indian woman, why did you favor them in our childhood?

I am still looking for an answer to, ‘why my brother had all the privileges, and whenever I complained about it, you rebuked me for being mean to my brother.’.

That’s why I was afraid of you and my brothers, too.

With my family, I still owe some love, Mummy.

Do you know Mummy, I am still amused by your attitude towards me.

When parents support their kids with no preference, they flourish. 

However, discriminatory treatment is harmful to children who suffer from unpleasant sanctions applied only to them.

I am not writing this to vex you or disregard your invaluable guidance. Whatsoever the love and affection I got from you when my brother was not around made me what I am now. 

And, at the end of the story, I can tell everyone that it’s you behind my personality development.

You are the sole motivational factor in my life because I never wanted to live a sedentary life and have people take me for granted (no one wants actually).

You intensely used your instincts to cover up your educational qualifications. I know this. 

Though you brilliantly handled everything because of quickly learning things, you never collected your composure to compete with educated ladies. 

Do you know, mummy that emotional quotient and common wisdom are more valuable than bookish qualifications?

Even my illiterate maid is way better in several ways.

The perception of having a broad life experience is a great deal indeed. And I am very proud of your earthy wisdom.

Your motherly affection was more available to my brother, and now, as a mother of a girl myself, I am confused about the lenient treatment you gave to my brother for being a male child.

Girls are capable of much more. They can overcome seemingly invincible life expectations, and all they need is unbiased and equal treatment.

You’re a girl too, Mom.

This is for real, Mummy. 

I saw you sacrificing your wishes (not equivalent to dreams).

I saw you trying your best to save money for our education.

I have seen you do things I can’t do for anyone. 

I have my fondest memory of you making my favorite dishes from scratch.

The impact you have left on my personality is cohesive in some ways, while somewhere in my life, I want to go against all that.

This does not sound like a matter of support for feminism, but if given a chance, one can conclude that with multi-level daily performance in life, girls are not far behind boys.

However, there are a lot of obstacles in our lives, and you know it all, Mother.

It is impossible to guess who the pursuer might be near and dear, who might be a teacher or a neighbor, and for girls to find their way while trying to protect themselves from the evil eye of people with wrong intentions is impossible. It’s hard to find solace then. It’s way harder for them when they notice no one by their side.

It is a fact that girls need the trust of their parents more than their love. Trust is necessary for them to make socially unacceptable decisions confidently. Therefore, parents must realize the significance of trust in their daughters’ lives and instill it in them from an early age. Trust can help them face and conquer life’s obstacles with conviction and determination.

A whole era has changed, but nothing much has changed for girls.

Yes, Mummy, as a mother of a daughter, I worry about her safety regardless of the changed scenario and the long safety promises of the government. It’s despite all the safety measures and precautions as well.

From time to time, we encounter horrific incidents of physical and mental molestation, women trafficking, and even murder when culprits fail in their motive.

But our first lessons of safety, dignity, and values ​​that mothers teach at home are what we need most in today’s problematic life.

  • I know, Mom, you are expected to follow the lines drawn by your elders.
  • I know you couldn’t help but accept the orthodox obnoxious rules that are sometimes cruel to our existence and sometimes absolutely avoidable for society itself.
  • I also know that you have a few hidden dreams for my life. However, you didn’t dare to let those dreams be a reality.
  • I am also aware of your superbly masked affection for me. After all, I am the inseparable shadow you vie for.

Mumma, whatever I wrote here, emerged from my heart. Do You know I am a ‘let me cry’ kind of person, too emotional and dramatic unlike you? This is the only difference between us I cherish. 

Unfinished conclusion-

Intuitive, precise, and compassionate like you, I am your reflection. There is no doubt about it.

But your magnificent genetics and crystal clear principles have made me who I am today.

So, a ‘Thank you’ on the upcoming ‘Mothers’ Day’ is insufficient to express my gratitude to you.

Love you, Mummy.

Your one and only one copy, your daughter.

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